


Conditions

by Takada_Saiko



Series: At the End of All the Lies [2]
Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: F/M, Keen2, inside Jacob's head, protective Reddington
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-14
Updated: 2015-08-14
Packaged: 2018-04-14 17:30:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4573323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Takada_Saiko/pseuds/Takada_Saiko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The last thing Jacob wants to do is sit through another psychological evaluation before receiving his clearance to get to work. Part Two of the collection of one-shots following World on Fire.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Conditions

**Conditions**

It was something like a staring contest and the first to blink first would lose, and Jacob _didn't_ lose. His posture was relaxed, slightly slumped in the oversized chair with one ankle crossed over the opposite knee, blue eyes guarded, though he wore a smile. The woman opposite of him - Dr Freedman - sat straight, but not uncomfortably so, and her smile had faded some time ago. Finally, she sighed, lacing her fingers together and leaning back to study him. "I understand that someone with your background has trouble opening up, Jacob, but you do understand that without my say so they will not put you on active field duty?"

Jacob tilted his head a little. "And you don't think I've been open with you?"

"I don't," Dr Freedman answered, never breaking eye contact. "These discussions are confidential. No specifics will be provided to Assistant Director Ressler or to anyone else."

There was a small change in her expression as she mentioned the man's name and Jacob straightened in his seat. "Not a fan?"

"Excuse me?"

"Of Ressler's?"

A small smile perked the corners of her lips. "Every agent in this task force undergoes mandatory evaluations, but this isn't about Agent Ressler. This is about you." She shifted, reaching for her notebook that she had been scribbling in for the prior sessions that Jacob had been forced to endure. "Let's go over what I know. You were born in Chicago, you bounced around the foster system quite a bit, but your juvenile records are missing?"

Jacob shrugged. "My previous employer didn't like paper trails."

"Hmm," she acknowledged, but hardly looked convinced. Amused was the word that came to mind, if Jacob were honest, and that was something he'd learned years ago never to trust. "I understand that you sat in on the first rounds of interrogations with your previous employer. William McCready, correct?"

The former operative snorted. "I've known the man twenty years and I'm pretty sure you're the first person that has _ever_ called him William."

"He raised you." It wasn't a question, nor was it really a secret that Jacob had grown up within the Major's organization. Not anymore.

"So what?"

"So you were put in a position that put you in direct opposition to him. That must have been difficult."

"You do realize that I'm the one that gave the FBI what they needed to take down his organization, right? Bud knew he had it coming the minute that he took Liz hostage."

"You fought pretty hard to keep him from doing it, didn't you?" She flipped through her notes.

"I told you last time, we're not going there."

The psychologist looked up and Jacob kicked himself for the hostile tone his voice had taken. He could give her just enough information about Bud - really nothing more than she already had - but he wasn't ready to talk about Gina. He had woken up to more than one nightmare since she had died, the closest thing Jacob had to a best friend's blood on his own hands. Liz had told him he'd been protecting her, but it was more than that. There was a very, very short list of people he'd thought he couldn't pull the trigger on even if his own life was on the line, and Gina had been on it. The fact that he had done it without hesitation to save Liz… he wasn't quite sure what to make of that yet. If he wasn't certain, he sure as hell wasn't going to let some fed-appointed shrink figure it out first and jot it down in her neat little notes.

"This is obviously a sensitive topic for you," she said carefully, watching him for a reaction. He gave her none, walling off his expression completely. "I understand that, but you and I need to be able to speak with each other even on difficult subjects. You can't move on from something if you ignore it's very existence. So let's start small. Gina Zanetakos was also in the employ of Mr McCready. How long did you two know each other?"

Jacob felt the muscles in his face twitch very slightly, his jaw clenched so tight that it almost hurt. "I met her when I was fourteen."

"Were you friends?"

"Sure, I guess."

She looked at him. "Lovers?"

"That's a bit of an overstatement."

"Were you two involved at any point?"

She was speaking so delicately about their physical relationship, like _that_ was what would shatter him. His and Gina's arrangement that she was referring to had been one of convenience, at least on his end. Until Liz, he hadn't had a partner that was anything other than business or convenience. Gina and he had been friends, but romance wasn't exactly something that people like them had had time for, much less really wanted. It was a distraction from what had mattered. "We were as close as any of Bud's operatives got."

"Did you trust her?"

"Yes."

"And she trusted you?"

"Yes. You have answers about Gina. Great. Moving on."

Freedman nodded. "That's fair. What about Elizabeth?"

Jacob paused. "What do you mean what about her?"

"Tell me about her."

"We've done this already."

"You've told me things that I already know. I work with this task force. I have her file. You were married to her for nearly three years. Surely you have a few opinions about the woman you claim to love."

"I do love her."

She nodded. "You betrayed your former alliances to take the fall for her in court."

Jacob huffed, tired of the game. Liz had told him to give her enough to sign off on his evaluation, that the FBI just needed to know he was steady. He knew enough to know that most people besides he and Liz thought that they were both nuts for trying to fix things between them. The task force seemed well aware of the fact that Liz had held him prisoner after shooting him, even if they didn't know details. He wasn't entirely sure if this doctor knew or not, but if he were to wager a guess he thought that perhaps she did and was pushing him to speak about it and the events that followed. To what end though, he wasn't sure. He knew that any sane man would have run from what Liz had done, and he had tried, all the way to Germany, but as soon as she had needed him he had come back. His world revolved around her. It wasn't that he couldn't live without Elizabeth Keen, it was just that he didn't want to.

A small laugh pulled him from his thoughts. "Get lost in there?"

Jacob blinked. "Yeah, I guess Liz has that effect on me. Listen, I don't know if you know what we've been through, and honestly it's none of your business. I've been willing, on more than one occasion, to give everything up for that woman. I love her. I don't have a nice, neat explanation for it. It's not like I have a lot of prior experience. I should be getting my medical clearance tomorrow, so I'd really like to just get to work when that happens. Ressler wants to make sure I'm not going to lose it and screw up? Fine. This is now my job. Why don't you take a trip down to lockup and ask Bud about my track record. There's not much I put above it."

"Just Liz?" she asked softly.

"That about sums it up. if you're worried about loyalties, I think I've pretty well proven that they lie with her."

Dr Freedman set her pad of paper down in her lap and looked directly at Jacob. "I believe you."

Blue eyes blinked, a little startled. "Does that mean you're signing off on my release?"

Her lips thinned out a little and she caught his gaze and held it. "Conditionally," she answered he never liked the sound of that.

* * *

The day had been long and the last thing Elizabeth Keen wanted to do was relive it on paper, but what didn't get done that evening would be waiting for her first thing in the morning. Her own paperwork load had been increased since coming back, as she not only had to deliver a copy to Ressler, but also for Freedman's evaluation to ensure that she wasn't going to break under stress. She felt exposed with it, like her every step was being studied in detail. As much as she hated it, she might as well get at least part of it done while she waited for Jacob to finish up what they both hoped was his last session that would allow Dr Freedman to sign off on his evaluation.

By the time the door to the office opened she was too deep in writing out what had happened to notice.

"This is an exceedingly bad idea, Lizzy."

Liz looked up, startled, but it wasn't her ex husband or even Ressler that stood in front of her desk. Reddington had been strangely scarce since the Cabal had been taken down and the Major arrested. He had briefly called and explained that he had a few loose ends to tie up before he returned, but he would be in touch by the time Liz was reinstated. Well, she and been reinstated and he hadn't shown. Not until today, but now he he stood in her office like he owned the whole damn black site, and he looked very put out. Apparently someone had told him that Jacob had taken the offer.

"Psychological evaluations are part of the agreement to keep me on active duty. The paperwork is a necessity, Red," Liz answered, purposefully ignoring the subject that she knew he was referring to.

"Lizzy," Reddington answered, her name leaving his lips in a way that told her he wasn't fooled.

She shot him an innocent look anyway. "Yes?"

"I understand if you feel that you...owe Tom something, after recent events," he said, Liz's ex husband's name causing him to sneer, "but this is a bit much. You can't possibly think you can trust him here. In the Post Office? On the task force? Really, Lizzy."

"First, his name is Jacob."

"I'm not calling him that," Reddington answered and Liz wondered if he knew how childish he sounded at that moment.

"Two, I didn't make the call. It came down from Raven Wright. Maybe higher."

"And you trust it?"

"No," Liz admitted. "They're bullying him into taking it. He either took the position or he kept running."

Reddington snorted. "You and I both know that he wouldn't bother with it unless he thought he still had a chance with you." He paused, his expression shifting to a level of shock that was almost comical. "Elizabeth, please tell me that you-"

Liz sighed, closing her file and standing. "Red, I know you don't like him, but you didn't like Ressler either when you started working with us."

"Tom and Donald are two very different people. One has been there for you in support and the other spent the better part of three years or more lying to you."

"I really don't think you have any room to talk to me about Jacob's lies," she grumbled, shooting him a pointed look.

"And I still don't think our residential boy scout is as squeaky clean as he'd like us to think."

Liz barely managed to keep the cringe from her face as Jacob appeared at the door and drew attention to himself. Now, of course, he had wandered in at the worst possible moment.

Red sighed. "This will end badly."

"Don't be so dramatic, Reddington."

"Elizabeth-"

"No. Stop right there. I will _not_ be the middleman between the two of you. Red, Jacob is joining the team. Jacob, don't stir up trouble with Red."

Her ex blinked innocent at her and she rolled her eyes. "Red, if you have a case for us, you'll need to talk to Ressler. Tomorrow, if it can wait. I think he's already gone home and I'm about to be out the door as soon as I finish this."

She watched the expression on his face shift as he started to say something, evaluated the situation, and then chose not to. "Be careful, Lizzy," he said quietly and turned. He brushed past Jacob without another word to him and Liz couldn't help but get the feeling that he would be Red's new Ressler, and that he would do everything he could to pointedly ignore and irritate him. The problem was that Jacob was much more likely to break Red's nose than Ressler was.

"This'll be fun," her ex chuckled as he leaned against her desk.

"We knew Reddington wouldn't be happy. Please don't make it worse than it already is."

"I'm not trying to-"

"Yes you are. You're goading him. Don't."

Jacob ducked his head a little. "Sorry."

"Yeah?" she asked, her voice a little lighter. "Sorry enough to go with me tonight to try that little Thai place?"

"What little Thai place?"

"The one we never made it to."

He blinked, understanding setting into his gaze. "The one right down the street from our old place?" A grin spread across his face as she nodded. "I think I can manage that."

"Good, because I've been living off of TV dinners for the last couple of days I've been getting in so late. I want real food."

There were moments - more as time went on, she realized - when she saw how much he really was like Tom in many ways. That smile that he gave her where it reached his eyes, creasing the skin at the corners it was so wide, was one of her favourites. He saved it for her, she knew, and that made it all the more special.

"How'd the session go?"

"She pried, I gave her enough."

"That's progress for you," Liz laughed. "So?"

A glint of mischief flickered through his eyes. "So?"

"Did she clear you?"

He sighed, digging a piece of paper out of his jacket pocket and handing it over. Liz unfolded it, skimming the words. He had been cleared, on the condition that he continued to come back for regular sessions. He would hate it, she knew, and she tried to keep her voice soft as she handed it back. "This might be good for you."

"Irritating is the word that comes to mind."

"I'm sure it does, but we do what we have to, right?" She waited for him to nod before leaning forward and pressing a quick kiss to his scruffy cheek. "Give me a couple minutes to get this stuff sorted and I'll meet you at the elevator."

"See you there," he said and his grin continued all the way out the door.

Liz heaved a sigh, glaring at the file on her desk and Red's words bouncing around in her head. They had known he wouldn't be happy, but he would learn to live with it. He had once told her that he could understand a man willing to burn the world to protect the person he cared about, and Liz thought with time he might be able to accept that Jacob was that kind of man. She had seen it and she believed in him. It would take the others time to see it as well.

* * *

Jacob moved towards the elevator, his mood considerably improved from where it had been earlier. It was slightly soured a little, though, as he spotted Reddington waiting for him at the lift. He frowned.

"Tom, I expect this will be one of the rare times I will actually be bothered with speaking to you, but I wanted to make something abundantly clear, as you seem to pick and choose what you wish to hear."

Jacob clenched his jaw irritably. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Of course you aren't," the Concierge of Crime answered with cheerful sarcasm. "Elizabeth Keen is still under my protection. For some unfathomable reason, she is still in love with you and she has chosen to keep you close," Reddington looked as if the words tasted bad coming out and Jacob couldn't help but to feel a little satisfied. "As I said when you showed up in Salzburg, your existence depends on her whim. Though, so that we are clear: _when_ you harm Elizabeth, be it in _any_ way, I will make sure you're dead this time. Do you understand me?"

"I'm not going to hurt her," Jacob growled.

"I'm sure that's what you've convinced yourself of, Tom."

"You do know that my name is Jacob, don't you?"

"I don't care." His gaze shifted behind Jacob. "Lizzy, I was hoping you would be leaving shortly. There's this little place that just opened that reminds me of the one we ate at in Rome. Do you remember the little hole in the wall-"

"Next time, Red," Liz answered as she moved towards Jacob. "This man owes me dinner."

Jacob watched the older man nod. "Next time," he agreed. "Be careful, Lizzy."

"At least this time I know what I'm getting into," she answered with a smile and slipped her hand into his. Jacob couldn't stop the smile that took over.

Reddington didn't join them in the lift and Jacob didn't let go of her hand. "Thank you."

"For what? We had plans."

"We've had plans before," he said softly, risking a glance at her. The subject had been a rough one when they had been married.

Liz cringed. "There are going to be plenty of times once we're both in the field that we're working against the clock and plans will have to get canceled."

"Better take advantage of the quiet while we can," Jacob answered, a smile playing on his lips. "Love you."

"You too," Liz answered and squeezed his hand. It wasn't going to be perfect. Jacob wasn't fool enough to think that it would be, but they could build up something between them again. Liz was willing to try, and without the lies weighing them down, Jacob thought that they at least had a chance at that. If he had even that chance, he was willing to put up with most any conditions that the FBI set for him, even if that included playing nice with Raymond Reddington.

* * *

Notes: I received a couple of requests for Jacob's time with the psychiatrist, so here we go. Let me tell you, he fought me the whole way.


End file.
